Tuesday, August 30, 2016

"South Florida Lawyer Given Prison Sentence for Child Porn!"


Geez DBR, haven't we treated each other well?

Unfortunate headline, to say the least.

Quite a bit going on around town for the week heading into a hot, humid Labor Day weekend, let's see how some of our favorite lawyers are keeping their trial chops intact:

1. PwC (hopefully) paid big.

Congrats Hector (and others).

2. Ben Kuehne (and others) hotfootin' it against the SEC.

3. Congrats Federico!

4. It's time we just sued the mosquitos.

5. Vote, plebes!

A Very Common Carrier


If only my laser vision was working.
AT&T today won a major victory over the Federal Trade Commission, which was trying to punish AT&T for throttling the Internet connections of customers with unlimited data plans.

The FTC sued AT&T in October 2014, seeking refunds for customers who paid for unlimited data. The FTC said AT&T deceived customers by offering unlimited data plans and then throttling speeds once customers hit certain usage thresholds, such as 3GB or 5GB in a month. In response, AT&T claimed that the FTC had no jurisdiction over AT&T because of the company's status as a common carrier.

This argument was complicated. At the time, AT&T was a common carrier for landline phone and mobile voice service, but not for mobile Internet access. The Federal Communications Commission later reclassified mobile Internet as a common carrier service, which put it under a stricter FCC regime but exempted AT&T from FTC oversight.
The FTC argued that it could punish AT&T for transgressions related to non-common carrier services, including actions related to mobile Internet access before AT&T was reclassified. Last year, a US District Court judge in California sided with the FTC, saying that “the common carrier exception applies only where the entity has the status of common carrier and is actually engaging in common carrier activity.”
AT&T appealed that decision to the US Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit, which today issued a decision in AT&T’s favor (full text). Appeals court judges had to decide whether the common carrier exception applies to all activity by AT&T or whether it applies only to activities related to one of AT&T's common carrier services.
This is what happens when judges don't understand technology. It's ridiculous to use rules written for one type of technology and apply them haphazard to another. But it's a convenient excuse if that was the decision you wanted in the first place. 

Monday, August 29, 2016

Gene Wilder RIP.

Your Judge Was Endorsed by Donald Trump!

How would that make some citizens feel?

Elated, surely.

But maybe others not so much.

Even though it was just a two-line email:
"Dear Rick: A friend of mine recommended this gentleman for a judgeship in Broward County. From what I understand, he is very well-respected in the legal community. Thank you. Sincerely, Donald," read the May 10 email, to which a two-page biography of Izquierdo was attached.
Thirteen days after Trump's recommendation, Scott appointed the attorney as a Broward circuit judge.
Should this matter at all? 

Or is it just a meaningless but weird by-product of our current Trump national....whatever?


Friday, August 26, 2016

Bubba the Love Sponge Fallout -- Don't Be That Lawyer.


Kids, there's a cautionary tale in here somewhere, but if you don't know that already you have no business practicing law let alone reading this crappy blog.

Happy Friday!

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

3d DCA Watch -- Two Can Be As Bad As One.


Yes kids after much anticipation the bunker has readied its shiny new #writtenutterances (see, we can keep up with the youngsters!) but alas there are only two.

Two, which we all know can be as bad as one.

Indeed, at least wagster wryly noted that "it's the loneliest number since the number one."

Abukasis v. MTM Finest:

Judge Shepherd in da' house, invoking the "magic words" for your entertainment and legally binding pleasure!

Perez v. FNMA:

A concession of error!

And it's not even a "confession" of error or anything.

In fact, it's a "commendable and appropriate" one at that!

See you next bunker!

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Roy Black Has a "Wild Reputation"????



Hmm.  Ahh hum.

Let me try that again:

Roy Black (allegedly) has a "wild reputation"!!

????

Don't see it.

In fact, it's just bizarre.

Sure he represented Rush, but that's more degenerate than wild.

Monday, August 22, 2016

Joe Carollo Lives Again!


He's not going to let some pesky job termination slow him down:
We therefore conclude that Carollo has pled a plausible First Amendment claim under Iqbal and Twombly that he spoke as a citizen and not pursuant to his ordinary job duties as City Manager when he made reports to law enforcement and other agencies about Boria and Ruiz’s violations of Florida’s campaign finance laws.
Gotta love Miami!

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Yes, There Is Such a Thing as "Anti-Slip-Resistant" Technology!


And, like Spence, I've always believed corporate evil-doers apply said "anti-slip-resistant" coatings to door handles, floors, and even ottomans and envelope openers, all for their cruel amusement.

Observe: